Lately I was thinking about all the things that I miss here in Pakistan. Feeling homesick, frustrated and tired somehow, I've been trying to identify the things that are actually making me feel this way. So what is it that I miss here?

 

I miss my friends and family

No matter how annoying they sometimes might be, I still miss being around them, talking to them, going out with them and just spending random time with them.

 

I miss social life

I never though that randomly going out sometimes would be something that I would miss that much. I miss going out to a random bar and having a beer with my friends. I miss meeting new people here, going out randomly and having fun. Not that I wouldn't be going out at all, but somehow, I would love to meet new and new people and I haven't found a way for that yet. I very often get the feeling that some of the aiesecers come for certain events just because they feel obligated to and those who don't come might be afraid to do so. Apart from aiesecers, I haven't really interacted with enough people yet and I am trying to figure out how to push this from my side.

 

I miss a fulfilling job

Maybe its after all those years of working for AIESEC, that I got spoiled with the idea, that the job that I will be doing will be somehow fulfilling and exciting. I miss being really busy in my job with tasks that somehow matter. Right now we do have some work happening, but soon it will be over and then what? I don't see a clear plan in my job, I don't see a need for me to be in the company and it somehow makes me feel like I was unneccessary there. For my job, I was imagining that it would be a job, that requires my experience and knowledge that I have gathered in my life so far. Right now I feel, that the job is requiring only my skills in reading, typing and researching online.

 

I miss my home and my room

I miss having a real bed, a closet to hang my clothes in, shelves to put my stuff on. This might seem weird, but in certain moments I just want to fall on my bed and not be afraid that it will fold and break when I do it.

 

I miss food

I miss having a bread with salami and cheese. I miss going to the supermarket and buying everything there and not having to run around different shops. I miss eating vegetarian food and being able to cook anything I want, because I just can't find all the neccessary ingredience.

 

I miss understanding everyone

Language is something that frustrates me all the time. Even though I finally gathered the will to start learning, I still get frustred at work or when going out, when I don't understand a single word of what people say.

 

But of course I realize that even though I miss a lot of things, there are a lot of things that I have here. Its just that at the moment the list above affects my mood much more than the list below.

 

I have new friends

In the past 2 months I have met a lot of new people, but the most time I have spent with the people closest around me. These are the guys that I see almost every day and we spend time working together, talking, watching movies, cooking, having sheesha etc.

 

I have my own room

I really appreciate the fact that I have my own privacy and I can always close the door. I find it very important and also I am really glad about the fact that I also have my own bathroom. This leaves me enough space for myself.

 

I have a job

No matter what is the current situation in the job, I know that I can call myself lucky for having a job, with the unemployment rate really high and the economic recession happening.

I have an interesting cultural experience

I can't even name all the things that I am experiencing every day. Completely different food, way of shopping, moslim showers in bathrooms, rikshas, bazaars, CNG, stock market crash, different people, poverty and extreme wealth, extremes everywhere...

I do not regret coming to Pakistan and I would probably do it again. Right now, I am not feeling good, but I do hope and believe that things can turn out for the better soon.